We have received this feedback from Clifton regarding our final script.
Thanks for this. The story still works well which is good.
Have you already sent it to the actors? If so it is ok if not you might want to address a coupel of things.
There is a bit of repetition in the opening scene when Elina enters…he steals a mint is there twice.
Also in the actio nyou say her boyfriend acts in a ‘twatish way’ you could probably have just said in an overbearing or insulting way, it is ok to use swearing in the dialogue but it is not often used in the action sections.
Also be a bit caregul with the spelling too ok?
Having said that i like th eending and the way it is left (a bit) open ended, a good story it is a pity it is not longer than is allowed but keep it short and pertinent..
We will of course be modifying our script accordingly, and will post the completed one up here ASAP.